Yes, I know it's Tuesday.
But I'm doing this anyway.
Power rush!


1) This is more of a misinterpretation/play on words than it is a pun strictly speaking, but it counts.

Last Monday my roommate was complaining to our FHE brothers about how the guy she was in love with had started dating another girl.

Evan (the FHE brother who really is like our actual brother): Really? He's dating another girl? Hm, I'm sure there's something we can do about this. Do you want me to take her out for you?

Alicia (the roommate): Nah, that probably wouldn't do much good. She's already dating him so I don't think she'd go out with you.

Evan: Well, I was thinking more along the lines of beating her up, but that might work too.


2) Alicia's grandma came over for dinner on Sunday. We invited over tons of neighbors to devour her delicious homemade rolls.

Leah (shoving three rolls into her mouth simultaneously): I just love these so much! If I had to eat one thing for the rest of my life, it would be these, every day!

Alex: Whoa now! Slow down, or we're going to have to . . . ROLL you out of here!!!

Commence Laura snorting into her stir fry for five minutes while the neighbors, who have never seen my true colors, chuckle nervously. No guys, this is not normal. I'm aware. It's fine though.
Punday Monday

It breaks my heart when people lose themselves.

To illustrate this point (this is a stretch), here is a photo montage of my dog, who helps me stay me:

photo cred: Sarah Kay

I am myself when I am in the mountains.
I go to the mountains with my dog.

I think everyone should have a place they can go and a person (or dog) to go with when they need some inner peace.

Also, I have no idea what's going on with the formatting for this post.
Anyway, that's all. Just some thoughts. Have a great day!

My delicate arches,
in those fabulous shoes,

at this Delicate Arch,
with these horrific faces in the middle of the picture.
9 hours of driving for 6 hours of hiking.

Totally worth it, even if only for the classy gas station breakfast that happened when we forgot the propane and couldn't light up the camp stove to make our own red-rock pancakes.

Chocolate milk and Poptarts, baby.

Don't worry, I'm back on the running diet again and feeling great.

Minus the occasional Poptart withdrawal.

These are a few of my favorite things.

Pre-College Perspective: Mustaches are great. Please do grow one.

Modern Analysis: Spending all my time around pubescent boys who could hardly even grow armpit hair, fuzz on the face must have seemed like something foreign, mature, and attractive. Oh, and old-school awesome. This was before I realized that mature hair follicles correlate in no way with a mature brain. Sometimes the two maturities co-exist, but that is by exception and not by rule.

Freshman Year Perspective: Mustaches are funny. Let's don them together.

Modern Analysis: Some freshman boys could grow decent 'staches, but mostly they came in patchy and lopsided and were a source of humor. I'd never experienced a "No-Shave November" or a "Mustache March" before and thought it was a decent competition which would be made even better when had among the older and wiser returned missionaries. Creepers made them shamefully irresistible, in an indescribable way.

Now: I was willing to give Mustache March a chance, but we're two-thirds of the way through and I'm quite frankly a bit nauseous.

Oh men, stop fooling yourselves. Obviously you have something to prove, or else a freshman girlfriend who loves you solely for your long-term ability to grow creep-status on your face. I imagine that only a hipster could pull off a socially-acceptable mustache, and no self-appreciating hipster would stoop to that bandwagon-esque level.

There are two people alive who can pull of the 'stache.

1) Tom Selleck

2) My dad in the '80s

I imagine the hope for these levels of awesomeness is what sustained my perspectives prior to this point.
But unless you have the world's nicest dimples or some coke-bottle glasses, it's time to take a razor to the face.

I apologize to those whom I may have offended, and invite you to attempt to offer evidence to the contrary.
I'll keep an open mind.
Good luck.

Evolution of a Simpleton's Views on the Mustache

Still just as good a decade later.
I roadtrip'd to Moab with the Broho this weekend.
My Utah is incredible.

Memorable Roadtrip Moment:

Setting: Late at night in a sketchy gas station bathroom
Victim: Young mother trying to find an empty stall for her child to use
The Climax: When she pushed open a door to find that it was already occupied
The Unexpected Twist: The woman inside tried to carry on a conversation with her
Facial Expression Young Mother Made at Me: One of Deepest Mortification
My Emotions: Astonishment that for once I was not directly involved
Moral of Story: Gas station = more eventful than the woods
Arches and a Lunchables Pizza

I dare you.
Ask me how I feel about Mustache March.

I'm late for class, but Karli peppered me with a pun and it had to be posted.

Punday Monday

Have you seen this weather?

Today brought the first hike/trail run of 2012. In shorts!! And toe shoes!

During the summer, I'm something of a health and fitness advocate.

Really I always am, but it's easy for good intentions to get smothered when school envelops my thoughts entirely. Some people eat when they're bored; I eat when I'm so busy I forget that I've already eaten 3 times and it's not even noon yet. That's not an excuse, it's an actual occurrence from my life.
On that note, let's talk Daylight Savings (it relates, I promise).

Bad: Waking up at 6:00 to run shall no longer be classified as simply "obscene." Now we have bigger problems, like "so dark my reflector pants do me no good and I may as well go pantsless," "werewolves are still out and hungry for a high-calorie dessert," and "my head a'splode-neosis."

Good: It stays light for an extra hour at night, meaning that when I get off work and hold myself hostage in the library, it won't feel like a dungeon anymore . . .

Bad: . . . oh wait, ya it will.

Good: It feels like a new season (Utah will surely punish me for that one) and thus reason for a fresh start.

My Daylight Savings Fresh Start:

-Run Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday mornings

-Jog home each Wednesday after work

-Trail run once a week

-Core training after each run

-Avoid dairy like the plague 
(I'm lactose intolerant, but sometimes I have selective memory-loss on the matter)

-Don't buy food on campus unless it's the L&T half salad or the Legends' Grille breakfast of champions 
(for those days when I just need to take an extended gander at the student athletes)

-Taboo on refined carbs, carbonation, and sweets--they slow down my jogs

-Hydrate with 9 cups of water a day

-Sleeeeeeep; it's not as though I take in anything I read after midnight anyway

Fitness is my hobby.
Time is my foe.
I'll report how the battle rages next week.

p.s. I really am eating Reese's Puffs right now. Don't worry, my diet starts tomorrow.
(Our diet starts tomorrow.)
Put some milk in these Reese's Puffs

Under Construction

Hit up the Stalking is Flattery gadget on the right if you share this quirky film obsession,
because we are obviously soul-siblings.
My Favorite Meme

Today I had a movie moment.

Not like one of those great movie moments where the guy of your dreams saves you from a runaway bus and you bond over the smoothie he buys you as he takes the rest of the day off to make sure you're okay.

No, it was one of those uncomfortable movie moments when the main character confesses something because somebody asks her a question that leads her to believe they already know what she did, and she foolishly bears her soul to the would-be ignorant questioner while you scream at the screen, "Why are you an idiot??!!!?"

Holly is my supervising florist at work. Oftentimes I'm asked to spray-paint a specific type of flower navy for a specialty arrangement we do in school colors. We're supposed to do it outside, but yesterday Holly left early, so I kind of just did what seemed right at the time. Here's how today's conversation happened:

Holly: So Laura, I hear you have mad spray-painting skills?

Laura: [thinking I'd been discovered, and trying to explain myself] Oh. Yeaaaaahh . . . . . . um, so yesterday I kind of spray-painted part of a bunch of flowers back here. Then the fumes got really strong and I realized that probably wasn't a good idea. But it was windy outside! So I kept going, and eventually I figured I probably owed it to the future children of anybody coming back here to air out the place a bit. So then I went outside and finished, and when I came back in the smell was almost gone! We only got a like a little bit high, but I guess I probably shouldn't do that again. Ya.

3rd party student observer who knows exactly what's going on silently and fruitlessly tries to cut me off behind Holly's back.

Holly: Oh, so you spray-painted inside yesterday? I just didn't want to spray the flowers myself today so  that's why I asked about your mad skills. But . . . 

Laura: Uhhhhh . . . I'm just going to go outside now.

At which point Holly just laughed and I went to spray-paint outside by the main road, where attractive male passerby gawked at my strange bush-spraying-ness. Cheers.

See you in Hollywood


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