Passion Fruit Spray?

The first time I tried passion fruit when I got here, I felt like Buddy the Elf. When I held the passion fruit in my hand I was like, "Passion fruit? Suuuuuure!" I cut into it and the smell was unreal. It was exactly like my favorite passion fruit body spray from junior high--maybe even more pungent and delicious. The inside looked like black fish eggs swimming in mucus, but I closed my eyes, opened my mouth, and scooped some in.

"Ehhhh, ehhhhh!!!" I screamed as my face puckered up and I hopped around. Sour as a lemon, it was. The taste was unique and really quite good, so I kept dipping back in for more, but gosh that stuff burned going down. The acidity from one small passion fruit could probably give heartburn to three grown men. But as sour as it was, I was so intrigued by the taste that I immediately hit up to see what I could make of this abundant and cheap tropical fruit.

Brazilian Passion Fruit Mousse. That's what I came up with. The recipe called for the juice of 8 passion fruits, 1 can of sweetened condensed milk, and some cream, all whipped together and chilled.

What actually went into it was some fruit, some dairy, the blood of one finger, and the sweat from two pits. But all things considered, it turned out all right.

Too bad I'm mildly lactose intolerant, because my body was like, "Nice try, sister friend. I'll give you painful stomach cramps as a warning this time, but next time you put something unhealthy in me it had better be a chocolate chip cookie."

Noted, body. Noted.


  1. Oh my gosh, they are pretty gross inside!! But I imagine the smell is heavenly... :)

  2. Those fleshy remains look like Satan spawn. But the actual recipe sounds yum! You can just cyber it right over if Jared doesn't like it. But he has to like it cuz--hello--it has sweetened condensed milk in it. But does pit sweat make that stuff null and void? Must test this.

  3. Hahaha. I love your writing. It kills me.



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