(precurser: I wrote this "yesterday," but then it rolled over past midnight. Hence the faulty date.)
In honor of Mother's Day and also my birthday, both of which are today (I think the universe is trying to send me a message. Nice try, universe.), let's talk about my recurring baby hunger.
Sometimes I see a chubby baby and my stomach starts to rumble.
My baby swings run on a monthly schedule.
Oddly enough, they often come without any hunger for a man.
Let's skip that part. Somebody just snatch me a baby.
I have fallen victim to the "how about if I just get married and start
having babies so I can be done with school" mentality.
Let's face it. Babies are cuter than my math textbook.
However, that victimization has only happened once.
Usually, this mentality makes me want to vomit, or (ironically enough) kick a baby.
Often, I try on baby first names with the last names of men I will one day wed.
(Bale, Li [Shang Li--straight up Mulan style], Emery, etc. etc. etc.)
I never share my baby names with ANYone.
Even my own mother is a risky confidant.
One time I shared my baby names with a roommate.
She threatened to steal them. She no longer exists.
A double celebration was way better than any loner birthday party, so Happy Mother's Day to the incredible woman who gave me life, as well as all you other people out there who didn't give me life. I guess you're a'ight too.