1. Eating an entire carrot full of Easter Reese's Pieces. It's like the festive bunny vomited into a veggie-shaped bag and gifted it to me. But NOT. Because I won it in a violent family Easter hunt battle full of egg-throwing and people-chasing and lies and a little bit of crying.
2. Family traditions built on deceptions and pain.
3. Pantslessness. Especially whilst devouring veggie-shaped chocolates and ducky-shaped horse hooves. Anyone up for a Peeps roasting for FHE? It's that or a double batch of ultra-sugary Rice Krispies treats and story time around the microwave.
4. Watching marshmallowy ducks grow ten sizes plus two in the microwave.
5. Brussels sprouts and bacon for dinner. He knows me! He really knows me!
6. Becoming Costco people. Then abusing our Costco people rights in the "Wheely-Office-Chairs" aisle.
7. Fiancé. He's so manly. It sickens me. Really. I'm sick right now, and I blame this manliness.
8. Four months straight without a story about accidentally flashing someone. I miss this part of my past life. I only hope some of you have made up for this boringness of mine, posted about it on the world-wide-web, and will include a link for me in the "comments" section so I may read up and be relieved that the world is still the lovely place it has always been, lacking not in a humility-inducing sense of humor.
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