Jump start your day

Often when you go to college, prefer healthy foods to delicious chips 'n' cheese, and live under a persisting fear that your produce will produce mold if you don't eat it today (cooking for only one is a learned skill), it becomes necessary to exercise a little creativity.

Unfortunately, my creative juices are limited to arranging flowers in ceramic bowls and putting together killer outfit combinations on a thrift-store budget.

The other day as my eggs scrambled slowly over the low heat of the electric stovetop, I pondered which vegetables I might add to enhance this invigorating breakfast experience.
(Spices are the most invigorating part of the savory breakfast experience, but even Fiesta Lime Mrs. Dash can only take you so far in the way of nutrient density.)

Sniffing at my extensive duo of vegetables, it was finally determined that the browning mushrooms were on a steeper decline than the half-mutilated zucchini. Yes, it would be a fungal morning once again.

I sauteed what I judged to be a proportional amount of mushrooms for the ideal veggie-to-egg ratio. Then I realized that given another day, the remainder of the mushrooms may not be able to pass the slime test, so I added them in as well.

"How bad could this be?" I reasoned with myself, "Extra 'shrooms equals extra exciting, so say the Munchkins of Oz."

Mid-bite, I became aware of a nearby roommate. Jaw agape, eyes half-closed, and hair balled into an intricate rat's nest, her look of appall might easily have been mistaken for a look of the Living Dead.

"Ya, ya, like you can even talk," I snarled through forkfuls of the slippery feast.

She was eating cheerios;
the eccentricity of some people makes my stomach feel like rubber.
An entire mushroom carton's worth of rubber.

. . . . .

Ok, so I should've stuck with the Gummi Bear breakfast, à la early morning New Testament class.