Somewhere In Time

Old Lady gives Young Man her most prized possession.
Young Man falls in love with a dead lady who lived 70 years ago.
Young Man goes back in time by hypnotizing himself.
Man finds Lady, who refuses to speak to him.

1 Day Later

Man and Lady are completely in love and discussing marriage.

1 Minute Later

Man catches glimpse of a penny from the time period he's supposed to be living in.
Man goes back to the 80's, while Lady screams his name like she's in Psycho.
Man is sweat nasty, but instead of taking a shower and trying to re-hypnotize himself, he goes into shock and stops eating.

1 Week Later

Man does not miraculously recover.
Lady does not find way to come to the future to be with him.
Man does not regain sanity or really try to do anything to get back to his true love.
Man dies of starvation and a broken heart.
(Meanwhile, Lady has spent 73 years alone and depressed.)


This, my good people, is an American Classic: forty minutes of boring character introductions, twenty minutes of plot development, five minutes of romantical warm fuzzies, and then they die. If I was Man, or Lady for that matter, I would be highly upset at the tears of joy shed over my miserable life. But at least the story ends with a 30-second happily ever after-death scene.

And could someone please tell me where that pocket watch came from in the first place?

1 comment

  1. I found the sheet music to the main theme in this movie in our shelf the other day and played it and it was hideous and boring. It matches the movie perfectly!



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