My Secret

I've been keeping something to myself.

For a little while now.

And Jared says it's time for me to stop being selfish and just share my secret with you.

A while ago I was studying. In the library. As I do.

I had my Hot Tamales on the left side of my desk, and my Sour Patch Kids on the right side of my desk.

As I do.

These are the safest candies to have on hand, because they start to damage your mouth after just a handful or two. This ensures that you will not overindulge without even realizing it, as is wont to happen during particularly focused study sessions.

So anyway, I'd had about five Hot Tamales before my mouth started burning. At this point, I switched over to the Sour Patch kids. I was about seven in before the crystals of sourness began to make my tongue bleed. Not ideal.

I probably should have stopped at this point, but the deeper I got into my homework, the more clearly I could hear the sour little squeaks from the kids on the right ("eat us!!") and the spicy threats from the devils on the left ("if you don't eat us, we will steal ALL your bobby-pins . . . again"). I knew the candies only wanted to cause pain, but as if in on the scheme, my stomach let loose a low and angry grumble.

"Oh fine!!" I whisper-yelled as I threw up my hands.

Grabbing one red-hot devil and one sour green kid, I popped both into my mouth simultaneously, expecting my taste-buds to dissolve.

. . . and . . .


Not a thing!

The sourness had softened the spicy, and the spicy stole from the sour. My taste-buds underwent no dissolvance! They had tamed each other!

The moral of the story is that when you are entertaining two candies that are unbearable to the tongue in considerable quantities, try marrying them to each other and they may mellow up.

1 comment

  1. hahahhahahaha. this might be my favorite post yet :)



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