tonight's gonna be a testing center night

I wish to share my favorite aspects of the testing center with you. I would argue that it is the creepiest building on campus. That may have something to do with the fact that I always procrastinate my tests until 9:00 at night when it's dark, empty, and cold outside. However, I don't get warm fuzzies when I take the floor and it's filled to capacity, either.

Tonight, I chose to frequent a bench out back for some last-second cramming. I immediately became more smug about life when a guy on his phone walked into the middle of the square and said in an uncommonly loud voice, "Dude, 98% of the cute girls chill at the testing center at night." I was sorely tempted to look up, evaluate his attractiveness, and then enjoy the looks of confusion and amusement on all the other cute girls' faces, but I was much too busy "chilling." When I got up to leave, he gave me the down-up. What a winner.

Finally I was able to wait in the 1/2 hour long line to have the privilege of taking a World Literature exam. I even got to stand behind a guy obviously excited about the privilege to take a Japanese test. His muttering enthused and encouraged me as I tried to remember Aristotle's 6 characteristics of a Greek tragedy.

I especially enjoyed waiting for one of the thousand or so kids taking tests to finish so I could use my animal-like prowess to claim a desk before any fellow vultures could dive. After spending two hours in my refrigerated happy place, I marched out of that building without even glancing at the score screen. I would love to take this opportunity to say, "I showed you, testing center!" But that would be a lie, because in my heart I would be whimpering.

I can not even tell you how ecstatic I am to multiply my bonding time with the testing center by ten come finals week. We are going to have such a solid relationship. Back off, cute testing center girls. I have a sharpened #2 and I'm not afraid to use it.

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