Step 1 complete: The kids and I are in Utah. I'm not sure I would say we "survived" the move to Utah, but we are definitely in Utah and the survival part is TBD. If last week we were salmon swimming upstream against the packing current, this week we have made it to our birth grounds and then proceeded to fall quite ill and abandon all energy/willpower. We now appear to be fish on the brinks of death, being carried back downstream. There's a glimmer of life left that will hopefully reignite sometime soon, but as of now, TBD.

The drive went pretty well. Some screaming and crying took place, but less than our last few Utah drives. I'm grateful that Alice can be entertained by shows and movies a little better now than when she was younger. This time I split the drive up and we stayed a night with my brother's family near Boise. The kids got to play with their cousins while I got to talk to Jordan and Amanda. Unfortunately the kids refused to fall asleep and things were pretty turbulent in the guest room until I threw the kids over my shoulder at 1:30 a.m., busted out to our car for my emergency stash of melatonin, and they finally gave in to the sleep around 2:30 a.m. The next day we played for a while and then drove to my parents' home in the afternoon/evening. I'm glad we got there when we did because Alice and I almost immediately came down with the worst colds of our life. I have never experienced sinus pressure like this. My head feels like it's going to actually explode from the pressure.

I'm so grateful my parents have provided us with a soft landing while I work to get our rental house move-in ready (without the assistance of any of our belongings, as our moving truck won't arrive for another 3+ weeks). This is the first time in over a decade when I've had the experience of staying with my parents and feeling zero desire to go see our favorite sights, eat our favorite Utah foods, do my favorite hikes. It's nice to know, "Hey, we're here for the long haul. It's ok to lie low and succumb to the sickness."

The dry climate has been rough to get used to (stuffy nose, cracked heels and lips and somehow ears), especially in combination with being sick. But it's an acceptable tradeoff to live close to family and all the other Utah things we've been looking forward to. It was magic to go trick-or-treating with my kids, alongside my siblings and their kids. Halloween was so fun and sweet, and it felt like I was in a nostalgic 90s movie of my own childhood. In that moment the sleepless nights felt worth it. 

But alas, the sleepless nights continue. We are still very much right smack dab in the middle of a big move, and the kids are feeling uneasy, unsettled, unable to to fall asleep unless I'm laying right next to them. Because we moved a week before daylight savings, I decided to keep them on Washington time so it would be a more seamless transition. The downside was that last week, by the time I got the kids fully settled to sleep at night and was like, "Ok great, finally have time to text my landlord." "I can finally take a shower." "Let's register Jack for school." I'd realize it was 10:30 p.m. and Alice would likely be up multiple times in the night crying for me. 

Jared has assured me that when he gets here in 3 weeks he is going to take over night duty and I should go catch a break. But, like, that's 3 weeks away and there are times when I genuinely question if my body will survive that long. There have been moments when I've questioned, in absolute seriousness, if I might actually die from stress and exhaustion. The kids are impossibly grumpy. And yet we persevere! I know I need to work on asking for and accepting help. There are loved ones here ready and willing to help if I can let go of the pride and, frankly, the habit of shouldering a much heavier load than I can carry on my own.

Oof, that was a big venting journal of a post. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Moving is hard. But also wonderful. And the logistical stress won't last forever! And now for some pics:

^^Playing in my brother's neighborhood. They live in the most magical, quiet little pocket of a place just outside Boise. They're a short walk from the cutest creek and this pretty little park.
^^Road tripping with a large piece of cardboard to prop between the kids whenever they would start trying to grab at each other just to stir things up.
^^Alice snuggling up with grandma and grandpa, before she realized that I was present and started shouting, "Come Mommy come Mommy come Mommy!"
^^Darth Ducky. Cousin Halloween Magic at Uncle Tim and Aunt "Babby" (Abby's) house. 
^^Alice loved trick-or-treating. She was a little slower than the bigger cousins but not by much. She fell behind at the end and missed that last house. Jack told me I should take Alice to the last house because they were giving out toy skateboards and a whole handful of candy. I told him he could take her by himself if he held her hand going across the street while I watched. So he took her trick-or-treating to a house by himself, walking her patiently up and down the front steps. It was adorable.
^^Our first time in the rental house. The kids ran excited circles around every room, so pumped. It's a beautiful home with a breathtaking view of the valley. I'm excited to move in fully when all our furniture arrives and Jared gets here. For now we'll keep taking loads of more supplies over and dipping our toes into the new house until we feel ready to spend a night. Could be a couple more days. Could go great. Might not. Might come crawling back to Grandma and Grandpa's. As seems to be the theme of this post, TBD!
^^Fake news. They were all up and annoyed in each other's business on this walk.
^^Little Miss Halloween. Jack hated Halloween when he was a toddler. Frankly, he still doesn't care for it much. Trick-or-treating is a yes for him, but costumes and creepy decorations are a hard no. Alice is the opposite. She insists on drives to look for skeletons and ghosts every day. She loves dressing up. She loves getting candy at houses and being spooky. She was so enthralled with a house that had an entire graveyard out front and "singing pumpkins" that she insisted on watching the pumpkins sing through several songs. I'm excited to see her joy at the Christmas decorations that will start going up next. And I'm excited to be settled into our new rental home for our first family Christmas in Utah. 

Dead Fish

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Last week I assured you that my next post would be from Utah. But then I remembered that on this Monday I would be driving from Boise to Utah, and likely have zero capacity to actually blog. So I am writing this the Friday before and scheduling it to go up on Monday. This week is tough. I've been continuing to pack up the house, while also packing me and the kids to live in Utah for a few weeks before the moving truck arrives, while also trying to keep our house looking perfect for showings at all times because it hasn't sold yet. Also trying to squeeze in quality family time visiting some favorite spots before we move and are apart from Jared for a month. If I chance trying to get something packed while Alice is awake, she will inevitably seize the opportunity to make a big mess that will then put me further behind than I was before. Really my only times to be productive are during her 90-minute nap, or after the kids are asleep for the night. Unfortunately, Jack's little brain is internalizing the move and doing what it did last time we moved, which is stew in the uncertainty and regress 3 years in the sleep department. He won't stay put in his bed after bedtime. He is scared and wants one of us with him until he falls asleep which can take quite a while. This all feels very much like trying to swim upstream against the current, only I'm not a salmon so I don't actually have the programming to swim upstream and it just all feels like a bit of a losing battle.

Jared also accidentally stopped taking his anxiety meds when we packed up our medicines 3 weeks ago, so I was doing a huge portion of everything alone and laaaaaate into the nights with a lot of bitterness until we realized, oh hey, Jared is sleeping all the time instead of helping because moving's a major life stressor and his anxiety meds are MIA. So we found those earlier this week and it finally feels like I'm not alone in this move again. I'm so relieved to have my partner and friend back instead of Sleepy Moaning Myrtle who would withdraw and call me a "mean person" when I begged for help (that was the point when I frantically started racking my brain for where my husband could have disappeared to). As soon as we realized about the medicine we were like, "Ohhhhhhhh yup. This tracks." Thank u modern meds. 

I cling to the same mindset I used to when I felt overwhelmed during finals weeks in college, and here is the mindset: A week from now, this hard part will be over no matter what. I will be in Utah with the kids. I will somehow have gotten through the packing while keeping our house immaculate, and the driving with screaming kids and all of it. The only way out is through, and somehow I will stumble through the packing and moving and driving 15 hours with two young kids and come out on the other side, and then I won't have to do this particular part anymore. (I will however have to unpack the moving truck and set up our rental home without Jared in a few weeks, and then do the whole moving thing again in another year, but that won't be to a different state and we're not worrying about it right now.)

Anyway, things are good. We did have one home showing last week, and the family who looked at our home really loved it. We should find out this weekend if they're going to make an offer or not. That's about all I've got to write now. I've got to call Jack's school now and request a withdrawal form so I can start the process of getting him registered for school in Utah. We're doing it!


^^Our last Tuesday date, to Stilly's diner in downtown Arlington. It was fairly chaotic having Alice with us and we were like, oh ya, this is why we haven't gone to a sit-down eating establishment in months. But not unexpected and still fun and sweet!

^^Things Alice elected/demanded to eat this week while our attentions have been split: a bowl of plain sour cream, a carton of plain feta cheese, and a stick of butter. (She actually did that last one twice.) Good thing dairy isn't the problem it was last year for her. 

Swimming Upstream

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I can feel a little tingling in my bones whispering, "It's time. It's time." It's time to move! This feels different than any of our other moves in the past. It feels like this time we are moving to an expansive support system of loved ones and old friends and cousins for our kids. To family dinners and family holidays. Lunch dates with my Grandma. Playdates with my high school bestie. Parks galore. Great schools for our kids. The potential to drop my kids off to play with grandma and grandpa or cousins if I am drowning or in an emergency. (I have never had this support before and I hope my parents aren't too burned out from helping out with all the other grandkids for the past several years! We are so grateful we've had Jared's parents in Washington as a great starter support system. Living an hour away from them has been great for support when we can plan ahead a bit. Tougher when we need help on the fly or for just an hour or two.) 

The kids and I were originally planning to drive to Utah yesterday so we could be away from the stress of home showings. But fortunately/unfortunately, we have had exactly ZERO home showings since our home was listed nearly two weeks ago. Yikes. The silver lining is that we aren't being kicked out at a moment's notice with the requirement of leaving a perfectly undisturbed home behind. Because of this, we decided to stay one more week. One more football game for Jack, one more week to help with the packing, one more week for Jack to enjoy his classmates and school teacher he's really loved. We might even make it to the ward cabin-or-treat at Cascade Park this weekend before we move. 

There have been two weekends of open houses for our home, during which time we've received a small smattering of curious lookie-loos. Only one seemed to be a "serious" buyer. He and his wife loved our house (they are big fans of the corner lot and our fireplace built-ins) but unfortunately their employer is Boeing, and if you know anything about the goings-on with Boeing these days, you know it's probably not the most secure time to be buying a home if you work for them. So. That buyer is loosely on the radar and that's about it. We may have to drop our home price at some point, but it'll be ok. We've got a little wiggle room. 

I am so excited to find out what life in Utah is going to look like on the other side of this move. This move has felt really stressful for a long time, but now we are so close to the other side and we are excited. Jack is excited. Jared is excited. Alice would probably be excited if she could understand. As it is, we might have a rough Alice transition ahead of us, but nothing we can't handle (famous last words). Ok then, till next week, when I'll be posting live from Utah!

Here are some pictures, starting with our trip just across the border into Canada to the most adorable town called White Rock. Jack's top request of what he wanted to do before we moved was visit Canada. On the drive up we realized that we would be there on Canadian Thanksgiving! Luckily the ice cream shops and pier were still open. 

^^Looking like two kids in an ice cream shop.
^^The town of White Rock, Canada is VERY magical. They have done a great job with their beachy Canadian charm. All the trees along the beach are strung with warm lights. They are home to the longest pier in all of Canada. The streets are lined with ice cream shops and fish n' chips dives. And these are the sound views:
^^We spent quite a while looking for (and finding) otters in the water during sunset. The pier was so long that we didn't make it to the end, but we had a sunset view the entire walk down and back.
^^More of the charming, lit trees. You can also see the town's namesake enormous White Rock on the beach in the background of this picture. It was carried to the beach by a glacier several thousand years ago. I believe it was originally white because it was always covered in seagull poop. Now the town paints it white twice a year.
^^We finished our evening off playing on the beach around the white rock, and then we drove an hour and a half back home. It was the perfect final family exploration from Washington. Lest you think we ever have a perfect family travel day, Jack spent most of the drive home screaming about how it was the "worst trip ever" and how he hated White Rock. Bewildered because he seemed happy the whole time we were there, I challenged him on his ongoing complaints during bedtime and he revealed that the reason it was the worst trip ever is because he wished we had been able to stay longer. Neat. There is apparently no way to win at a family outing in our family, because even on the rare occasion that everything goes beautifully, Jack will be uncontrollably filled with rage on the drive home at the inability to make the nice moments last forever😅 Luckily the next day he was back on team, "White Rock was the best!" More moments from our week:
^^We have banned all markers during our move because Alice WILL find them and defile our house. We immediately throw them away when we find them. She found a loophole in my makeup drawer. Until she defiled our house with it and makeup became banned as well.
^^DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO KEEP OUR HOME PERFECTLY SHOWING READY AT ALL TIMES WITH A TODDLER LIVING HERE ALL DAY??!! Sorry for yelling. She is cute here in her quest to throw all the pumpkins and books over the ledge.
^^Puddle jumping at football practice. "No. Stop. Don't." Willy Wonka parenting at its finest.
^^We found a Halloween rice krispie treat kit from Jared's mom and it was the perfect festive family activity in a season when most of our evenings are filled with stress, tv, and panic packing/cleaning.
^^Alice found Jack's old Halloween costumes in a box ready to be taped up in the garage and she was so filled with glee, that this dragon costume became un-packed and now we have a dragon making us eggs most mornings (with supervision, on the lowest heat). The best part of waking up, is dragon eggs sunny-side-up!
White Rock, Canada

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We had the open house for our home over the weekend after it officially went on the market and . . . crickets. Only two people showed up. Our house is really cute, but it might sit for a few weeks because we are selling in an off market in the off season in an off area (our school district is the worst in the region so most people look a little further south). We aren't too worried; several other homes with our same floor plan in our area have gone on the market in the past few months. They have all sold, but it takes about a month. So we will keep things looking nice, and I will start packing up me and the kids to move to Utah in the next few weeks. The moving truck arrives November 1, so that is the latest we would be here. Here is the link to our home on Zillow if you want to see what our home looks like inside:

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/9812-Hawkins-Ave-Granite-Falls-WA-98252/440172664_zpid/

While the open house was taking place, the kids had a sleepover at Jared's parents' home and we went on a short 2-night cruise to Canada. One of our favorite memories since moving here was our Alaska cruise three years ago. We've always said we need to do another cruise before we move out of Washington, because it's so nice to be able to just drive down to the cruise terminal and hop on a boat. With Alice being young we've been on the lookout for short cruises, and we recently saw this 2-night cruise to Vancouver for really cheap. We figured this would be a nice bookend to our time in Washington, an opportunity to rest in the midst of moving chaos, a way to be out of the house for a few days while it sells, and a way for Jared and I to reconnect, because moving can be a tense time. It proved to be a great idea, and it checked all those boxes. We had a wonderful time. We did lots of resting and eating, spent a full day at sea, and finished up with a day exploring Vancouver together. I took some pictures on my nice camera, but I'm having trouble getting the memory card to connect to my computer, so for now I'll just share the pictures we took on our phones:

^^The view from our balcony after boarding was perfection! We had a view of Seattle and the Space Needle, as well as Mt. Rainier.
^^Sunset on the dock. We also could see the Northern Lights from our balcony one of the nights:
^^It was cold on the deck while the ship was moving, but not too bad.And the fall colors in Vancouver were just gorgeous, so no regrets about an October cruise.
^^We played Scrabble in the library, just like on our last cruise. It was actually the same exact cruise ship, the Majestic Princess, so it was a nice nostalgic throwback. 
^^Waking up to Vancouver! It was a gorgeous city. I had no idea this gem was so close to us, or that they have their own version of the Space Needle. 
^^We decided on a hop on-hop off bus tour that took us around the whole city. We scored great seats at the front of the top level of a double-decker bus.
^^We went for a walk in Stanley Park, which is bigger than Central Park. Then we hopped off at Granville Island for lunch, which is Vancouver's adorable version of Pike Place.
^^More Vancouver views.
^^We finished off our Vancouver adventure with a final walk to the train station, where we boarded an Amtrek train down to Seattle. It was a picturesque ride and probably would have felt very relaxing and romantic if we hadn't been seated next to a rather loud group who were very chatty during the 4-hour ride.
And that was our lovely, restful weekend cruising into Canada! We were excited to get back to our children at the end. They had a wonderful time with their grandparents. We went on a fall walk together and this bald eagle flew right in front of us. We've definitely been spoiled with some majestic sights during our time living in Washington.

Vancouver!

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