We are continuing to settle into life in or new home, which feels so comforting. We were able to borrow my dad's truck to pick up our washing machine and dryer, and borrow my dad and brother to help get them set up, so we caught up on a lot of laundry this week. On that note (skip the next two paragraphs to bypass a boring asthma update), I read that if dust mites are exacerbating your asthma, you need to wash and dry your sheets on the highest possible heat setting at least once a week. It occurred to me that in the past I've always washed my linen sheets on a "delicate" cycle on low heat, and either dried on a delicate cycle as well or air dried them (linen sheets wear out pretty quickly so this was an attempt to extend their lifespan). And I was only washing them on a monthly basis, not weekly. This week I tried washing/drying all of our bedding on the highest heat setting to see if my nighttime asthma issues would go away, and what do you know, that seemed to do the trick! I'm hopeful that by washing/drying my sheets on high every week I can continue to keep the asthma at bay for the first time in years.
I also had an enlightening asthma experience last week in a furniture store. Jared and I were in a corner with all the fabric samples deciding which one we'd use for a couch we were interested in. As we flipped through the samples, I all of a sudden felt my throat constrict and an intense asthma attack coming on. We immediately ran to the other side of the store to try and find water, and the asthma slowly went away. In hindsight I'm realizing that was likely another dust mite issue because of the dusty fabric samples. I never knew this about myself until this week, but it's nice to know that dust mites seem to be the primary agitator of my asthma. I'm glad we ended up getting a Speed Queen washer and dryer. We debated going with a different brand because Speed Queens REALLY wash things well and can even be a little too tough on delicate items, but in the name of dust mite destruction I think we made the right choice. Lots of weekly bedding laundry in our future.
Speaking of couches (wow, this may be my most boring blog post today. Probably skip to pictures😂) we got two couches on a great Black Friday sale. We didn't go with the custom couch we were looking at with the fabric samples--just two floor model sofas for cheap at Ashley Furniture that were able to be delivered within a couple days. These couches were to replace the sectional we sold with our Washington home. We ended up putting one of the new couches in our great room, and the other one in our music/living room. Riveting stuff.
Hmm, what else...Jared officially started his new job today. He worked from home last week doing lots of training videos, but today he will be seeing his first patients. Very exciting for him. Oh! We went on a date! Without either of our kids! Most of our "dates" for the past 7 years have included one of our kids in tow, and we'd try and keep them distracted with a show on our phone so we could have the illusion of being on a real date together. One time we hired a babysitter in Washington, but the going rate was $20 an hour and that was tough to stomach. Jared's parents would watch the kids when we'd go away for our anniversary trips, but they lived far enough away that we weren't commuting to them on a regular basis. Anyway, my parents watched our kids last week while Jared and I went to a sit-down restaurant for dinner. We couldn't even remember the last time we'd done that. Probably well before Alice was born, honestly. Then we got some chocolates and found an art+antiques shop to wander through. Truly I'm not sure we've had such a date-feeling date since maybe before we had kids. It feels INSANE to have close access to several loved ones who would be happy to babysit now. It also feels insane to know that all of my siblings have had this the entire time they've had kids and have never had to go several years in a row without having a proper date. I'm happy for them and now happy for us. After a big stressful move like this one, me and Jared have never needed a real date more😅
It feels very good to be past the most stressful parts of our move and now in the part where we start settling in and enjoying some peaceful moments in our home with our family. I caught myself feeling panicked a few times this last week about the slow rate with which we've been able to unpack and organize. We still have a long ways to go, and it took me almost a week just to unpack our closet (kids bedtimes are still rocky, so free time is still very limited). I was able to take a step back and remind myself, "Hey! It's not like packing up to move. There isn't a deadline on unpacking. This isn't an emergency." This reminder has helped me a lot. I also like knowing we'll never have to have this home perfectly staged to sell since it's a rental. It takes a lot of pressure off. I'm ready to try a little thing called *relaxing* in the evenings more often in this house. Very excited for this new development. And now for some pictures:
Things were pretty crazy for a minute (month) there. I didn't even realize I missed a blog post last week until I sat down to write this one. Moving is TOUGH. We have moved rather a lot in our marriage. Big moves, every time. Cross-country moves, cross-state moves, international moves. Add in a few kids, with enormous feelings. Take away a husband for a while. I am weary of moving. This must be the feeling people get when they know they are done having children, but with moving. Last time we thought about moving to Utah there was an element of "what if" in my mind. What if there's another adventure for us? What if we get bored living in Utah for the rest of our lives? What if we regret not trying out just one more location together? I am really grateful we ended up moving to Washington and living out that adventure. It was truly wonderful--a gorgeous place to live! And now, the "what if" thought isn't entering my mind anymore. I feel like we're where we are supposed to be. I realize we will have to do at least one more move in the coming years when we buy a home, but I'm hopeful that will feel less chaotic than all these big moves with big moving parts.
Putting that behind us, life is finally starting to feel better than it has for the last month or so. The bumps are less bumpy. Jared made it to Utah. Our moving truck made it a week later. And as a of a few days ago, the moving trucks have been emptied out into our home and we have our beds again! And our clothes and furniture and kitchen supplies. All our things really, except the furniture we sold with our Washington house. For the first time in ages our kids are sleeping through the night without waking up having what appear to be panic attacks. We moved Jack and Alice into the same room because they both get scared at night without having someone in there with them, and so far that has been a GREAT decision. Jared and I get to sleep in the same room in our non-air-mattress of a bed.
The only problem is that ever since our bed arrived I've been having asthma attacks every night again. The silver lining is that I think I've discovered the missing link to my asthma puzzle. I've been having nighttime asthma issues for years now. In our last house it was really bad and I chalked it up to living in a new build where the vents probably were never blown out. Or maybe something to do with the humidity in Washington. Sure enough, when we moved to Utah last month the asthma issues went away almost entirely. No issues in our new home while I was sleeping on an air mattress. The fact that the asthma flared up again when I started sleeping on our own bed is telling me that the asthma is almost definitely being exacerbated by our linen sheets, or by our mattress. I'm going to try swapping out our linen sheets for some bamboo sheets (this is the best kind to use if you have asthma--they keep the dust mites away). If that doesn't work then I'm almost positive the issue is our cheap mattress. Come to think of it, I never really had nighttime asthma issues until we moved to Wyoming, around the time we bought our current mattress. And then it continued to get worse and worse from there. Hmm. Real-time stream-of-consciousness problem solving on the blog today. I will keep you posted on my asthma journey.
Well darn--Alice's nap didn't last long. I hear her waking up already. To summarize a really lovely week into a paragraph, I'll just say we had the loveliest Thanksgiving with family at my parents' home. My brother's family came to visit from Idaho and the kids were in cousin heaven all week long. I got to have Thanksgiving with my grandmother and with aunts, uncles, and cousins who I haven't seen in years. I found a listing for a 15-foot-tall Christmas tree on Facebook marketplace, and when Jared went to check it out at the local liquidation store, he bought it on the spot. At first I wasn't sure about such an enormous tree, but it is bringing a cozy glow to our whole house when we need it most. Long live the 15-foot-tall Christmas tree. I'm off to grab my lil bb girl from her nap, but here's to a great week ahead! May we find the hardware for Jack's bunk bed and our kitchen table in the mess of boxes scattered throughout our house, Amen.
Hello from another week in moving limbo!
Positives from the week:
1-No one is physically ill at this time...except maybe Jack who appears to be coming down with something, but it hasn't landed yet so I'm going to take this win for one more day and cling to it.
2-My parents continue to feed and shelter us and be the best company, and pick Jack up from school etc etc etc. This would be a muchhhh harder move if I didn't have them in my corner.
3-We are discovering the magic of Utah parks! Yes it is freezing outside. But wow, the parks here are phenomenal, and so prolific. This is especially fabulous to us coming from a town that had exactly one public park, and it was pretty sketchy.
4-We have heat set up in our rental house. We even hosted a little play date with my high school bestie and her kids one afternoon to try and infuse some happy play into our formerly sad, empty, cold space. We're getting there.
5-We were able to attend some get-togethers with family members this week and it just warmed my heart so much. I haven't seen some of my Haines cousins in a decade and we had the loveliest casual potluck of Haineses yesterday. My kids played so well with all the other kids around that, even without Jared there, I was able to eat and chat with long-lost relatives the whole time (ok, I think I am the long-lost relative in this situation). I almost cried from happiness on the drive home.
6-Jared drives home to us tomorrow!!!!
Negatives from the week:
1. Jack is having a really hard time with school right now. He got put in a loud class, and his recess and P.E. hours haven't been what he expected. He's just taking all the changes pretty hard. I'm going to be in touch with his teacher to see what we can do to hopefully make things better going forward, but man. It's borderline impossible to get him to go into his school in the mornings and I feel so sad for him.
2. Jared is going to be driving home to us in the middle of a really bad weather system hitting Washington. And there kind of isn't another option because the entire 10-day forecast for the mountain passes we normally have to drive through show daily blizzards. He is going to go a different, longer route than usual to try and stay safe. Prayers.
3. I got a bad haircut. I'm normally such an overthinker so it's a mystery why I do this, but I have a bad habit of spontaneously deciding I want a dramatic haircut NOW, looking at professional places and realizing I'll have to wait several days and pay a lot of money, and then saying, "Eh, I'll just run down to Great Clips/Fantastic Sams," where I proceed to get a bad haircut every time. I shouldn't say it's a bad haircut. She actually did a pretty good job. It's just a lot shorter than I was expecting. I told her I wanted it grazing my shoulders, but somehow it ended up at my chin with even shorter layers all around. At first I was like, "Ok cute, this isn't so bad. I look like a 90s hot mom." But then nighttime came and I was like, "Oh no, no no no, this is 100% Severus Snape hair." I will say, I don't hate it. It just doesn't feel like me. But alas, as always, it will grow on me (*snicker, snicker*).
We're going to keep with the fish/river blog titles for a while yet. I'm quirky!
It's been another doozy of a week. I expect the doozies of weeks to continue for another month, at least. Moving is just doozy after doozy. This month feels a lot like when we took hit after hit when we first moved to Grenada. At least this time I have family nearby and we're not in a developing country. You guys. I hope I never take for granted not living in a third-world country. That was way harder than this, and this is pretty stinkin hard. Although in all seriousness, having kids this time around makes the playing field pretty equal to moving to a third-world-country sans kids. At least I was well rested then.
I tried to get us moved into our rental house this week. My parents live about 25 minutes away from the school Jack has started attending, while the rental house is a 5 minute walk from the school. So in my head it seemed like a no-brainer to move into the rental. But it was a brainer, and I did not have the brains to make it work. The first strike against moving into the rental house was when I loaded Alice up to get Jack after school one day, in hopes of staying at the rental all afternoon and night. It turns out that an afternoon in an empty house with two young kids, no other adults, no furniture, and no other belongings or toys is . . . a bit depressing. No duh, Laur. It was novel and fun for half an hour and then I started wanting to cry.
Strike two against moving into the rental house was when I realized there was still a large quantity of cat hair in all the carpets from the previous tenants. I am allergic to cat hair. It was not a good time. This is the point at which we bailed from attempting a night at the rental and drove back to my parents'. The next day I went back to the rental house, hoping to at the very least get Alice's crib set up for when we felt ready for another attempt. Unfortunately, the smoke alarm was chirping every minute or two. I adulted up, grabbed some fresh batteries, and did in fact change the batteries in my rental home's smoke detector. Very demure. Until it did nothing. Tried another set of fresh batteries. Nope again. Had my dad come see if he could fix it. Still no. Strike 3, and back to my parents' home. I texted our landlord, feeling kind of dumb. "Hey I don't like cat hair. Also I can't figure out how to turn off a smoke alarm lol!" (that's a paraphrase, not the actual text)
The next morning after I dropped Jack off for school, I once again stopped by the rental. It was frigid. The thermostat read 54 degrees. I tinkered with the thermostat, got some unpacking done for an hour or so, and the heat never turned on. The next day I returned to find the house at 46 degrees. I did not want to feel EXTRA dumb and have to send my landlord another text. "Plz help, I might not know how to use a thermostat and yes I am in my 30s." But I also didn't want the pipes in his house to start freezing and exploding, so after spending some time in the furnace room reading the owner's manual to the furnace with no luck, I let the landlord know that the furnace might be broken and he sent a furnace repair guy over.
This is where it becomes a really *fun* (embarrassing) story. Our landlord is really chill. I cleared the house back out, and he sent over a team of cleaners to scrub the place of all cat hair. He got the smoke alarm replaced and a furnace guy came and took a look. I get a call late Friday evening from my landlord. "Hey, everything looks good at the house. The HVAC guy came and took a look at the furnace. It looks like you just haven't set up your natural gas or power yet." 😳 I was dumbfounded. WHO LET ME TRY AND SET UP AND MOVE INTO A HOME BY MYSELF. WHERE IS THE ADULT HERE. I'm just a little girl. Anyway that was a little awkward. I think I was like, "Hee hee oopsie, sorry!" And then hung up real fast.
Luckily this gave me something to call and cry for Jared do because homeboy needs some homework assignments. He is straight CHILLIN in Washington with his free times and his naps and his gym bro seshes, and his teeny-tiny 18-hours-a-week work schedule, and his staying at a resort with his parents all weekend while I am over here actually physically dying. No sleeps. Illnesses. A presidential election. Too much adulting. Feral children. Can you tell I am bitter. Yes everyone can tell that. Jared will have his work cut out for him when it comes time to pack the moving truck though, and when he gets here I am taking several days to get away and sleep and sleep and sleep. All by myself. Speaking to no one. Doing little to no adulting. It's more exciting than Christmas to me. By far.
Ok that was a lot of writing. Turns out there's a lot to report during a stressful move! I have way more to say but should probably keep it to myself. Me and Alice are still sick. Alice is mostly better but I still feel pretty awful, especially in the evenings. I told Jared that it feels like an emergency situation that I need to get away to catch up on sleep when he gets here. It feels like my body is sending me messages that really bad things are around the corner if I don't start taking care of myself. So. One more doozy of a week, plus a couple days, then Jared gets here and then it's my turn to go take care of myself for a bit. Oh! Can't forget the big news--we got an offer on our home! It is contingent on the buyer's sale of their own home, which is pretty sketchy in the current housing market but it's still something, and they offered full asking price. Good selling juju over to our buyers, please and thank you.
That's all. I am unwell. But I won't be forever! You'll see! And now for some pictures from our week:
Step 1 complete: The kids and I are in Utah. I'm not sure I would say we "survived" the move to Utah, but we are definitely in Utah and the survival part is TBD. If last week we were salmon swimming upstream against the packing current, this week we have made it to our birth grounds and then proceeded to fall quite ill and abandon all energy/willpower. We now appear to be fish on the brinks of death, being carried back downstream. There's a glimmer of life left that will hopefully reignite sometime soon, but as of now, TBD.
The drive went pretty well. Some screaming and crying took place, but less than our last few Utah drives. I'm grateful that Alice can be entertained by shows and movies a little better now than when she was younger. This time I split the drive up and we stayed a night with my brother's family near Boise. The kids got to play with their cousins while I got to talk to Jordan and Amanda. Unfortunately the kids refused to fall asleep and things were pretty turbulent in the guest room until I threw the kids over my shoulder at 1:30 a.m., busted out to our car for my emergency stash of melatonin, and they finally gave in to the sleep around 2:30 a.m. The next day we played for a while and then drove to my parents' home in the afternoon/evening. I'm glad we got there when we did because Alice and I almost immediately came down with the worst colds of our life. I have never experienced sinus pressure like this. My head feels like it's going to actually explode from the pressure.
I'm so grateful my parents have provided us with a soft landing while I work to get our rental house move-in ready (without the assistance of any of our belongings, as our moving truck won't arrive for another 3+ weeks). This is the first time in over a decade when I've had the experience of staying with my parents and feeling zero desire to go see our favorite sights, eat our favorite Utah foods, do my favorite hikes. It's nice to know, "Hey, we're here for the long haul. It's ok to lie low and succumb to the sickness."
The dry climate has been rough to get used to (stuffy nose, cracked heels and lips and somehow ears), especially in combination with being sick. But it's an acceptable tradeoff to live close to family and all the other Utah things we've been looking forward to. It was magic to go trick-or-treating with my kids, alongside my siblings and their kids. Halloween was so fun and sweet, and it felt like I was in a nostalgic 90s movie of my own childhood. In that moment the sleepless nights felt worth it.
But alas, the sleepless nights continue. We are still very much right smack dab in the middle of a big move, and the kids are feeling uneasy, unsettled, unable to to fall asleep unless I'm laying right next to them. Because we moved a week before daylight savings, I decided to keep them on Washington time so it would be a more seamless transition. The downside was that last week, by the time I got the kids fully settled to sleep at night and was like, "Ok great, finally have time to text my landlord." "I can finally take a shower." "Let's register Jack for school." I'd realize it was 10:30 p.m. and Alice would likely be up multiple times in the night crying for me.
Jared has assured me that when he gets here in 3 weeks he is going to take over night duty and I should go catch a break. But, like, that's 3 weeks away and there are times when I genuinely question if my body will survive that long. There have been moments when I've questioned, in absolute seriousness, if I might actually die from stress and exhaustion. The kids are impossibly grumpy. And yet we persevere! I know I need to work on asking for and accepting help. There are loved ones here ready and willing to help if I can let go of the pride and, frankly, the habit of shouldering a much heavier load than I can carry on my own.
Oof, that was a big venting journal of a post. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Moving is hard. But also wonderful. And the logistical stress won't last forever! And now for some pics:
Last week I assured you that my next post would be from Utah. But then I remembered that on this Monday I would be driving from Boise to Utah, and likely have zero capacity to actually blog. So I am writing this the Friday before and scheduling it to go up on Monday. This week is tough. I've been continuing to pack up the house, while also packing me and the kids to live in Utah for a few weeks before the moving truck arrives, while also trying to keep our house looking perfect for showings at all times because it hasn't sold yet. Also trying to squeeze in quality family time visiting some favorite spots before we move and are apart from Jared for a month. If I chance trying to get something packed while Alice is awake, she will inevitably seize the opportunity to make a big mess that will then put me further behind than I was before. Really my only times to be productive are during her 90-minute nap, or after the kids are asleep for the night. Unfortunately, Jack's little brain is internalizing the move and doing what it did last time we moved, which is stew in the uncertainty and regress 3 years in the sleep department. He won't stay put in his bed after bedtime. He is scared and wants one of us with him until he falls asleep which can take quite a while. This all feels very much like trying to swim upstream against the current, only I'm not a salmon so I don't actually have the programming to swim upstream and it just all feels like a bit of a losing battle.
Jared also accidentally stopped taking his anxiety meds when we packed up our medicines 3 weeks ago, so I was doing a huge portion of everything alone and laaaaaate into the nights with a lot of bitterness until we realized, oh hey, Jared is sleeping all the time instead of helping because moving's a major life stressor and his anxiety meds are MIA. So we found those earlier this week and it finally feels like I'm not alone in this move again. I'm so relieved to have my partner and friend back instead of Sleepy Moaning Myrtle who would withdraw and call me a "mean person" when I begged for help (that was the point when I frantically started racking my brain for where my husband could have disappeared to). As soon as we realized about the medicine we were like, "Ohhhhhhhh yup. This tracks." Thank u modern meds.
I cling to the same mindset I used to when I felt overwhelmed during finals weeks in college, and here is the mindset: A week from now, this hard part will be over no matter what. I will be in Utah with the kids. I will somehow have gotten through the packing while keeping our house immaculate, and the driving with screaming kids and all of it. The only way out is through, and somehow I will stumble through the packing and moving and driving 15 hours with two young kids and come out on the other side, and then I won't have to do this particular part anymore. (I will however have to unpack the moving truck and set up our rental home without Jared in a few weeks, and then do the whole moving thing again in another year, but that won't be to a different state and we're not worrying about it right now.)
Anyway, things are good. We did have one home showing last week, and the family who looked at our home really loved it. We should find out this weekend if they're going to make an offer or not. That's about all I've got to write now. I've got to call Jack's school now and request a withdrawal form so I can start the process of getting him registered for school in Utah. We're doing it!
