We are finishing up an absolutely lovely two weeks visiting Utah. We've always desired to move back here eventually, but in the meantime we've enjoyed living in and getting to know other states and countries. We've always looked forward to our pop-in trips to see family, visit our favorite Utah hikes and viewpoints, and eat at our favorite Utah restaurants. That said, we are starting to feel done making enormous twice-yearly pilgrimages here. These pilgrimages have been ongoing for over a decade now. They started out as 20-hour travel days from the Caribbean, with multiple flights and looong layovers. For long-time readers, can you even believe that was a whole decade ago?? We didn't have children yet, so it was doable.
Then we lived in Georgia and drove 3 days across the country no less than seven times in the span of two years, and made an additional several flights across the country on top of that. Lots of travel in the last half of medical school for rotations, interviews, etc.
In Wyoming our quarterly trips to Utah were relatively "short," as the drive was "only" seven hours. However, we had a colicky baby in tow so they felt much longer and more treacherous, especially in the winter when road conditions were life-threatening and we'd frequently have to stop for the night in Rock Springs when the freeways were closed due to snow and ice buildup.
Now we're in Washington and have 14-hour drives with two kids who BOTH hate traveling and spend a good chunk of the drive screaming. We could fly with them, but that wouldn't stop Alice (and possibly Jack) from screaming the whole way, and we're not willing to do that. Even if the kids were perfect traveling angels, there's a weary type of feeling around our trip this time. We are ready to just live here in a home of our own full time. Visit family often, whenever we feel like it, but not frantically cramming family time into every day to make the most of a brief one- or two-week stint here, sandwiched by really draining travel days. I'm joyfully exhausted from all the fun we've been cramming into these two weeks, but also really sad that I haven't been able to stop in to see my grandma more often while we've been here. It's impossible to do it all while we're here, but that doesn't stop me from trying to anyway and then I'm, again, exhausted. And still somehow feeling like I'm not doing enough. And the cold I've worked up from not getting enough sleep (yay kids) isn't helping.
I want to see what it's like to spend some of Jared's time off doing something besides traveling to see family. With babies that hasn't been a need or priority so much, but as our kids get older we want to start branching out a bit. We wouldn't want to do that at the expense of getting to spend time with family though, so ya, we're just ready to be living here, for a cornucopia of reasons (that's definitely not a real phrase but I like it). Hopefully these desires will line up with positive outcomes from the interviews Jared has gone on while we've been here: two in Salt Lake valley, and one in Vernal (that's actually where we're headed today). We figure if we keep taking shots at jobs in Utah, we'll eventually hit something. As always, I'll keep you posted! Also as always, here are some pictures from our time here in Utah so far:
^^Girl hike. Don't let this adorableness fool you. I did our first week here without Jared, since he couldn't take the extra week off work. I drove the kids down here myself, with Savvy dog in tow, and then juggled everyone's needs all week. It was fun and worth it, but a lot. One day I knew Savvy would only get a walk if I took Alice with me (Jack was probably playing with a neighbor kid or something). The easiest way to walk Savvy at my parents' is to take her up Dry Canyon and let her run around off leash while I wander. It has the added benefit of me being able to do something for me, since I love hiking. Allie baby was a fan for about three minutes. The tricky thing with Alice is that she doesn't want to be carried on a walk/hike, but she also doesn't want to just walk in a straight line on her own for longer than 3-5 minutes. So this walk ended with Alice screaming in the dirt and then thrashing around while I carried her back to the car. Solid way to work up a sweat.
^^Lots of sandbox time with cousins and a new neighbor friend.
^^Lots of lovely deck time. My parents' covered deck with this gorgeous mountain view is everything.
^^Jared flew into town just in time for the Roper reunion my Grandma hosts one day each year at a farm in Cornish, UT. It is so fun. The highlight of our summer. I was having so much fun that I never pulled out my phone to take a picture. Luckily Jared took this video of Jack flying down the water slide.
^^After the reunion we drove to Bear Lake to spend a few days with Jared's parents at their cabin. It was SO fun. Bear Lake is a place that gets better as you bring kids into your family I think. It wasn't picture perfect (Jack had some ROUGH moments after a week of not enough sleep and a little stomach bug), but we were able to hike to Bloomington Lake and have an excellent beach day on Bear Lake. (Many thanks to Jared's mom for orchestrating the beach fun. It can be an ordeal to pack all the food, toys, and supplies for everyone.)
^^After our beach day we got the kids to bed early and were able to enjoy an adults-only steak dinner on the deck with Jared's parents with this view. The vibes were immaculate.
^^We found a kids' fishing pond. Didn't catch anything but they enjoyed the bonding time with Dad. (I mostly sat on the sidelines and ate pizza/went down the playground slides with Alice.)
^^Alice loved putting sunscreen on everyone. The first half of the day was cold and windy, but then we got plenty of heat and sunshine. Best of all, our kids lasted all day! We were there from around 10:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m. Alice skipped her nap and all was well. We have arrived at a new era of beach days. Should be even better next year as she is able to play with Jack more and more.
^^Thanks to my parents for letting us borrow their Aqua Lily. It's awkward to transport but was a hit at the beach!
^^I stayed at the cabin while the others toured Minnetonka Cave. Jack loved it.
^^We had to leave from Bear Lake a few days before Jared's parents to get Jared to his first interview of the week. A side perk was making it back for my Dad's birthday on Pioneer Day. We even got to have a mini fireworks show with them.
^^Jack and Alice orchestrated (haha, puns) this family band setup one morning. 10/10.
^^Lots of time exploring new parks with cousins. Didn't think it was possible, but Utah has upped its parks game even more since we were last here.
^^So happy we could be here for a cousin birthday party for Emery! I loved this random morning with family in Santaquin.
^^And now some "sours" from the week to keep things real. Alice really struggled falling asleep during the first night or two whenever we arrived in a new location. Jared and I spent hours laying on the floor by her cribs while she fell asleep.
^^A not-so-fun but definitely necessary realization during a casual home tour one afternoon with Jared (long tangent ahead but I'll get to the realization). We don't have a job offer yet, but one job interview went really well and we will be hearing back from them by next week! That's a crazy fast timeline in our experience. I found a home on Zillow I'd love to consider if he's offered the job, so I thought it would be fun to walk through while we're here, just in case we loved it and the job worked out, so we wouldn't have to fly back down to see it.
Something I learned about Jared last time we went house hunting is that he only has eyes for a new build. He's very frugal and quite unpretentious in other facets of life, but honestly he's kind of a house snob lol. In our last two homes I was like, "cool, not gonna knock that" because our kids weren't school ages and location wasn't really a big deal. Sure, let's buy the tract-home new build, even if there are older homes with more character in better locations.
But with our next move, location is enormously important to me. If at all possible, we'd love for our next home to be the one we finish raising our kids in. We're pretty tired of moving and ready to "settle down." Houses have gotten very expensive in Utah. I knew we wouldn't really be able to get both a dream new build and a dream location in our budget. Since we decided we should prioritize location this time, I found my dream neighborhood, and this home we walked through was the only one for sale there currently. It backs onto mountain trails, has a beautiful view of the valley, has a community pool and park within walking distance, and a great elementary and middle school also in walking distance! A dream! The homes aren't new builds, but they're all about 5-10 years old, so pretty new. I really thought the only "con" we'd find with the house would be that it's likely a bit outside our budget, but hey, if we discovered we loved the neighborhood then we could keep an eye out for less expensive homes there in the future.
Well, the time came to walk through the home. I loved it. It was even better in person than in the listing photos. To me, the location was perfect, the backyard, complete with an outdoor kitchen and fireplace, was perfect, the house itself was pretty darn near perfect. And yet. Jared looked at me as we walked out and the only word he could say when I asked if he liked it was, "icky"😱 The house snob strikes again!!! My stomach fell to the floor. And not just because my dreams of living in this home were looking unlikely--with its price and us not even having a job offer yet, those dreams were pretty unlikely to begin with. It was more being hit with the realization that if this really lovely dream home in a perfect location felt "icky" to Jared just because it didn't have that new paint smell and a glossy brand-new kitchen, then there probably isn't a home on this earth that he'll go for if it isn't brand new. And that really limits the locations we'll be able to live in within our price range if he can't get past that.
When I was whining to my sister-in-law about it after the fact, she wisely said, "It sounds like the two of you are different in terms of what you need from a house." And she's right. And on a level, I knew that before ever walking through this home. But Jared has assured me many times that he trusts me to choose our next home since he chose our last one when I had a different preference. He even told me minutes before we walked through the house, "I'd be happy living in a hut with you if it's in the right location. I know you could make any hut feel amazing." So it kinda felt like a gut punch to me when he got "the ick" over my gorgeous dream home that was definitely better than a hut. And then I spent the rest of the day with "the ick" for my house snob husband😂 And to be fair, I think he kind of was giving himself the ick as he realized he wouldn't actually ever want to live in anything but a new build, even though he had been assuring me and himself otherwise for months. Maybe my reason for sharing this is to normalize occasionally getting "the ick" for your spouse (and yourself--I do have a bit of the ick for myself getting so bothered in this situation too...boo hoo, your husband only wants to buy a new build, wah). Happens to the best of us.
In any event, it's going to be ok. I'm glad we unearthed this realization that our house-needs are mismatched now, so we can work on compromising and finding a middle ground before we're in the thick of house hunting someday and the stakes are higher. And I'm grateful that if/when we got a job in Utah, we'll be able to afford a home here at all! When we were looking for jobs in Utah three years ago that was not the case. I'm proud of how much we've saved, and grateful that Utah has started offering family physicians more competitive salaries in the last year or two. Ok, wrapping up here on this personal, journally post. I don't keep a physical journal anymore so sometimes you readers are going to get more than you bargained for. Until next week! Hopefully with good news!
