The sun is shining in Washington state! There's frost covering the ground too, but the sun feels wonderful. On days when Jared doesn't have work, I always take Savvy and myself for a nature walk on a nearby forest trail. Feels extra rejuvenating in the sunshine. I am eager for daylight savings to switch in March so it will be light when Jared gets home from work and I can take Savvy for the nature walk every day. The thing I miss most about Wyoming is that empty, wide open prairie with walking trails right across from our house. It was so easy to pop out for a walk multiple times a day with Jack and Savvy. So fun. My forest walk here is beautiful though, and worth the 10-minute car ride.
This last week, Jared and I recovered from our cold just in time for Alice to catch it. Poor girl still has the stuffiest lil' nose, but we've got humidifiers. Jack for once didn't catch the cold, so we are feeling lucky. On Saturday we drove to Bellevue to celebrate Jared's brother Will's birthday at the Cheesecake Factory. I'm still doing the "determine which foods bother Alice" game (no new food sensitivities discovered so far, hooray), but now I'm able to eat enough that I could order and enjoy a good meal. (No cheesecake this year as dairy is her main issue, but there will be many more cheesecake years in my future so I'm not too bothered!) Even better, Alice slept through the entire dinner in her carseat so we could relax and talk. It was a good time.
Jared and I have started reading a chapter out of a marriage book together each evening after the kids are in bed, and it has truly become the loveliest part of the day. I'm guessing this is a normal thing (maybe not), but in those first few months after having a baby I really struggle to feel connected in my marriage. Because there is less sleep and a lot of new baby-related work going on, I'm drained to begin with, and then it doesn't help that our relationship out of necessity takes on a bit of a co-worker type of feel. It's like, "Sweet, Jared's home. I am DONE. Now I can clock out to take my union break, then we'll both take a kid and work the evening shift, and then he gets to clock out while I do the night shift." (Jared did recently offer to do the first feeding of the night when he doesn't have work the next day, which is hugely helpful 3 nights a week and he loves having that special time with Alice.) Anyway, I was feeling disconnected and told Jared I wished we had the time to do marriage counseling to learn some tools for navigating this year, but honestly, figuring out childcare and timing would have been a headache. I asked if we could order a few marriage books and read them together in the evenings instead? Jared of course was like, "Yes! That would be amazing." He's a gem.
I did some research before ordering two books (Gottman's Institute seems to have the top books in the genre), but while we waited for them to arrive we decided to start "The Five Love Languages" since it was already on our bookshelf and we'd never read it. I think it was a wedding present, but we never got past the first chapter when we were engaged because it felt depressing to read about all these struggling married couples who weren't speaking each other's love languages haha.
In the past we've been so exhausted by the time the kids are asleep that we usually would default to just watching tv before bed. Now we still watch a short show when we're done, but we try to cuddle up and read a chapter together aloud first. It made an instantaneous difference in bringing that connection back! Now that we're halfway through the book I think I realize why: My top love language is clearly quality time (it's one of Jared's top ones as well). The author, a marriage therapist, says that watching tv together doesn't count as quality time. Oops. So basically we've had hardly any quality time together since bb 2 came along, but now that we're prioritizing quality time reading together most evenings, I'm feelin the love again. Anyway, 5/5 stars, would recommend reading together in the evenings--especially if you're a "quality time" type of person. Jared's top 2 are touch+time, so cuddling up to read is a great option for both of us. Ok, enough talking about marriage on the internet! Here are some pictures from our week. I did a photoshoot of Alice on my nice camera, but I haven't uploaded them yet so I will post those next week:
