I tried to sew a thing.

The post I sat down to write was going to be titled, "I sewed a thing." But then I looked at the picture of the thing that I thought that I had sewed, and then I realized that I almost sewed a thing, but kind of failed a little bit, so I'm not going to show you until I fix it (if ever--I tend to sometimes just give up when I fail at domestic-type things).

The thing I attempted to sew was really just an alteration of a really pretty dress that I scored for $10 on ASOS clearance (and picked up in Utah, because it is spendy to send packages here). Online shopping is a domestic-type thing that I never fail at. See here:

The above is the first picture of my look-Mom-I-turned-out-okay-and-can-sew photo shoot (in middle-of-the-day lighting in the shade because I have no patience for waiting on perfect lighting). If you look closely, you can see the camera remote in my hand because yes, I was taking pictures of myself. The rest of the photo shoot was of the back of the dress. The neckline scooped down quite low in the back, so I hand-sewed several pieces of lace together in tiers (not tears, but almost) and then hand-sewed the lace panel into the back to bring the neckline up. It was awesome in theory, but apparently the lace is still kind of see through and I sewed it in too low so it still doesn't go as high as I need it to. Could my husband not have told me these things before I wore the dress to church on Sunday and sat in the front row? Or at least told me to wear my hair down? No? I live in a thousand degrees of humidity and hair down isn't a thing? Ok, I can accept that.

Anyway, when I realized that the blog post I had in mind wasn't going to happen, I figured I'd at least record the attempt and then take pictures of the lovely tropical flowers Jared got me, held in front of my face. It's almost like I have a flower bouquet for a head!

(I'm training Jared to surprise me with flowers occasionally. Funny side story: when I told him a month or two ago that I'd love to be surprised with them sometime, he was like, "Wait, they don't sell flowers here." And I was like, "Well actually there's usually a cart full of them right inside the grocery store entrance." The next time we went to the grocery store together I pointed them out, just so he'd know where they were, and he was like, "Should I surprise you with these right now?" I blushed and said no, but he decided that that was one of those crucial times when my mouth says no but my eye-daggers say yes [it wasn't--there were no eye-daggers], so he got them. Awww! The next time he "surprised" me, I met him on campus and he was a little late to our meeting place. I asked him why and he said, "I heard they were selling flowers on campus and I wanted to get you one as a surprise but I couldn't find them!" And then I pointed out where there was a cart full of them that he had walked past, so he--surprisingly--bought me one. Ten million points to Gryffindor for his cute efforts to be sneaky! Such a sweetie! )

The yellow-and-purple zebra stripe flowers are this really amazing variety of orchid. They smell like a dream. They're a few days old so they're a bit droopy, but still, love those things.

p.s. All my teachers in high school loved me because homework was my boyfriend and studying for the ACT was my social life, but this one time I decided it would be a good idea to take a sewing class and then I made that teacher cry. Partly because she thought I laughed at her when I was actually laughing at the girl across from me who was making faces, and partly because the Ronald-McDonald-print pajama pants I tried to sew were an abomination. That teacher did not love me.