Helga

Hi. Let's talk. So first of all, comments are back because that was making me feel weird when they were gone. (You're welcome, Ashley :))

Second of all, I reeeeally wanted to bring a tripod with us to Grenada after Christmas because I was like, "Haaay, we can take couples pictures on the beach every day." But it's pretty much been sitting in a corner for a month, so I decided I should probably break it out.

Which brings me to third things third. The only thing that I can take pictures of with a tripod that I couldn't take without the tripod is myself. So . . . . ya. You're welcome Mom. I love myself a good vanity post. (Get it? I love myself? Because of vanity? Ohhh, the word plays. So many chuckles.)

(Fourth things fourth, I've already started cheating on my internet goal from last time. But, I'm being much better about how I use my time and I'm still keeping it minimal, so I don't even feel guilty.)

Crown braid, meet my readers. Readers, meet my crown braid. Oh, you've already met the crown braid? Twelve times every day on all of your social medias? Well shoot.

The thing is, I've been wanting to do this braid for months. I tried it a while back but it looked nasty on me and I was doing it wrong and thought my hair had to be nine feet long. Turns out it could be nine inches long and I'd be fine. I used this tutorial.

The other thing is, even though I love this braid 50% of the time, the other 50% of the time I think it makes all the ladies look like Russian women named Helga. Like so:

What do you think? Yay or nay on the crown braid? Some people pull it off beautifully. I'm not convinced that I'm one of them. Even disregarding that last picture.

Ok, now I want to talk about lipstick. Because crown braids are for Russian women, and Russian women are sometimes models, and models wear lipstick I think. Boom--topic shift justified.

Jared got me my first ever real lipstick for Christmas. I think it's just lovely that my first real lipstick is from the love of my life. I always feel special when I wear it, because it's pretty and because Jared picked it out for me. Oh, the feels.

I've tried out a few drugstore lipsticks in the past and inherited some from my mother and grandmother, but I never thought lipstick did much for me since I have thin lips. Like so:

Then I figured out yesterday that I had been putting it on wrong this whole time. How does one not know how to put on lipstick?? Maybe the same way that my husband doesn't know how to make a grilled cheese sandwich. I always thought the correct lipstick application method was to do one light swipe on the bottom and one light swipe on the top, and I was way too focused on not going outside the lines (my kindergarten teacher would be so proud). NOPE. That is how you get lipstick to last for approximately 25 minutes. Turns out you can do many swipes! I'm sure there are more professional methods, but the many swipes method is revolutionary enough for me. Oh, and of course lip liner also is good. These are the things I am learning now that I have earned a university degree.

Jared got me a MAC lipstick. Admittedly, I told him that it would be a nice stocking stuffer and then I showed him exactly where to find the MAC counter in the University Mall. But then I told him that if he decided to get me one, I wanted him to pick out whatever color he thought would look good on me. Voila! The perfect blend of surprise and also getting what I want. He picked out the perfect color for me. It's not too bold, and it looks nice with my skin tone and blue eyes. The color in the picture above is a little off because I didn't care enough to wait for good lighting. In case anyone was wondering, this color is "lovelorn." The ladies at the counter when he bought it were like, "Are you sure this is the exact shade she wants? Ok, but if you get the wrong one make sure she knows she can bring it back with the receipts and exchange it." Apparently lipstick is serious business.

I know this is not news to anyone, but holy cow, MAC lipstick is way better than the drugstore stuff I've tried. I don't know if that's because it's actually better (I don't even know if it stays on longer), or if it's just because it smells wonderful and feels like butter on my lips.  Either way, our budget is definitely happy that we live thousands of miles away from the nearest MAC. It'll be a few years before I can expand my collection of one.

I tried to do a cliche teenager selfie lip pucker, but my lips really are little and they cannot make a respectable pucker.

This is as close as they get, and it would be a poser fail if I pretended to take this seriously:

It pains me to look at that. It's like, "Ehhh, almost girlfriend! A little poofier! A little sassier! Ok, now close your eyes! Add four hashtags!"

Wow, longest and pinkest and selfiest post in ages. I'm not even going to try to come with any closing remarks.

The end.

Ya. The end.