Bio

Last night I was reading the bios of the other editors on the website where I recently got a job. Their bios were full of impressive nuggets, like, "Bobby graduated from Harvard and then was the president of his own company," and, "Sally has three masters' degrees and has worked her way up through the ranks of twenty-five prestigious editing companies." Ok, so maybe it wasn't that dramatic, but it was pretty close.

So anyway, I was noting to Jared that I hope the company doesn't contact me for a bio anytime soon, because it would look something like, "Laura just graduated from college with a nearly useless degree and then she sat around for a while without a job. And now she is working for us. Fingers crossed that you don't get Laura as the editor for your project!"

Jared was, of course, quick to remind me of all my achievements and how it's pretty cool that I'm working among so many qualified people. But then he started giggling uncontrollably and began monologuing his own dialogue for what he thought my editor's bio should be:

"Laura enjoys sleeping in, neglecting her dental hygiene, and eating chocolate. When Laura's not busy editing, she enjoys checking her Pinterest feed in bed. Laura cries herself to sleep every night."

To be fair, I have been very emotional in the evenings as of late. Because, you know, special times and such. But really, Jare? Really? He just couldn't get over how funny it would be to read through all those serious bios and then see that one. And I have to admit, that would be pretty funny.

Here's an unrelated picture of how I cope with life on the day after I get assaulted by a tribe of mosquitos. Maybe I'll add it to my Pinterest feed in bed tonight:

To get even with my husband, let's talk about doctors and math for a second (because we don't need to get into doctors and handwriting--you already know that hilarious story).

Jared: I somehow went my entire life (after high school) without ever having to take a math class, and I never will have to take one! How did I get away with that? Oh, the other day we did have to divide something by five in class though. I had to do 150 divided by 5.

Me: Oh? Did you get the answer?

Jared: Yeah. . . . 30.

Me: Good job, Jare.

Jared: . . . at first I thought it was 50 though. [shifts eyes]


AHAHAHA!! Doctors and math! That made me feel better about my sad bio for a minute. Ok, maybe don't pattern your lives after ours.