Husband Is Old

Happy Birthday, Husband/Jare/Jerry/Smelly/Jared/Red/HandsomeMan!

(I thought y'all would appreciate a little down-low on my nicknaming habits)

He is now the big 2-6.

I am not.
(The amount of time it will take me to become the big 2-6 is the same amount of time that has passed since I got my braces off and learned to differentiate between the gas pedal and the brakes.)

Instead of listing off 26 fun facts about my man, please enjoy reading a few useful tricks I have learned from Jared since getting married. He's very hygienic. Maybe you'll learn a thing or two, too.

₪ How to get pretty teeth. Rinse with Crest 3D White every time you brush. It doesn't leave the nasty mouthwash aftertaste, but it does leave those pearly whites pearly white.

₪ How to vanquish pimples. Pierce the white part (needles work) and squeeze till you hit the volcanic root. Highly satisfying, in a kind of disgusting way. (I haven't experienced any scarring from this, but I hear it's happens to some people, so be careful.)

₪ How to exfoliate face. Keep a plastic container of baking soda in the shower. Rub  a quarter-sized amount all over your face. Rinse. My face feels like cashmere now.

₪ How to cover blemishes with concealer . . . Let's just say he grew up with sisters. I did not.

And with that, here are a few things my husband has learned from me since getting married:

₪ How to go as long as possible without having to shower. Dry shampoo, Stridex face pads, body spray, scented deodorant. (I've experienced many a time-devouring Finals week in my college days.)

₪ How to make a grilled cheese sandwich. Bread, cheese, bread. Grill. Skillet. Broil. Whatever. How could he not know this already??

₪ How to belch on demand . . . I grew up with all brothers. (Don't worry, it only happens when all the boys get together and have plenty of sugar in their sweet little systems.)

I'm so grateful for Jared and all he does for our tiny family.
Happy birthday, coolest friend ever!