Jordan Mopes

"If no one makes me a good breakfast, I'm going to fail the AP test. But it doesn't matter because I'm not going to college."

"Mom, can you buy me some overalls? I'm letting myself go."

"I'm going to commit suicide . . . why are you guys laughing?"

"Why did I cut off my hair? I look 'ideous."

In other news, if I were to define my "6-pack" today, I would definitely do so softly.

I guess that means I met my goal.

Go team.