But I'm doing this anyway.
Power rush!
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1) This is more of a misinterpretation/play on words than it is a pun strictly speaking, but it counts.
Last Monday my roommate was complaining to our FHE brothers about how the guy she was in love with had started dating another girl.
Evan (the FHE brother who really is like our actual brother): Really? He's dating another girl? Hm, I'm sure there's something we can do about this. Do you want me to take her out for you?
Alicia (the roommate): Nah, that probably wouldn't do much good. She's already dating him so I don't think she'd go out with you.
Evan: Well, I was thinking more along the lines of beating her up, but that might work too.
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2) Alicia's grandma came over for dinner on Sunday. We invited over tons of neighbors to devour her delicious homemade rolls.
Leah (shoving three rolls into her mouth simultaneously): I just love these so much! If I had to eat one thing for the rest of my life, it would be these, every day!
Alex: Whoa now! Slow down, or we're going to have to . . . ROLL you out of here!!!
Commence Laura snorting into her stir fry for five minutes while the neighbors, who have never seen my true colors, chuckle nervously. No guys, this is not normal. I'm aware. It's fine though.