Today on the bus

You need to know a few things. First off, I am a victim of the public transportation system. First time on the subway, some smelly guy fell asleep on my shoulder. First time coming home on the bus, some old man sat next to me and told creepy jokes during the entire ride. Second off, I think I must be incompetent. My very very first time on the bus by myself, I got on the southbound instead of northbound bus. I arrived at work 1 hour late. The next day, I got on the 833 instead of the 830. I arrived at work 1 hour late.

So you see, I have some issues. I think I need to take more precautions. Today, campus bound, I sat in front of Santa Clause. He must have lost a lot of weight, his elves, and his sense of what's holly and jolly, because he was not looking or smelling his finest. I can't be sure if he was talking to me or the woman he was sitting next to; I chose not to make eye-contact. In either event, I was extremely flattered that he trusted me with his life story. A younger man, he got tangled up with the wrong crowd and fell prey to the cold-hearted-lover, hard marijuana. Marijuana must not've been good to him, because somehow he wound up in jail for a year, threatening to beat up the guards when they wouldn't get out of his business. Don't worry, readers, he could have taken them. He learned how to defend himself in the military, where he was always one step ahead of the enemy. In fact, he's always one step ahead of anyone. He's never killed a man. He never will. He doesn't think so, at least. But he could. It might be a nice challenge, in fact.

I love the bus.