This is my life.

Dropping my Economics class. Picking up a Fly Fishing class. This is real.


When you only know how to play two songs on the guitar, they probably shouldn't be Blackbird and Classical Gas. But they are. I don't know how this happened, but I feel good about it.


Some classy guy I wasn't even dating broke up with me. Uhh . . . ?


Real friends build their weeks around woman dates to J Dawgs.
I like to keep my dog PG-13: everything but jalapenos. No weeping on woman dates.


I saw a dead guy today. He didn't look half bad besides, well, you know.
Flower delivery to funeral homes is frighteningly fun.


Mint fingernails. Traffic cone toenails. Let's be honest: I'd break up with that too.


Ordered a new phone. It's a smart one. The color is gold, because I'm a high-roller. Maybe this will keep me from chipping off all the paint and spinning it like a top and leaving it in the fridge. Or maybe  paint-chippage will increase for the benefit of blinged-up teeth and I'll leave it in increasingly extreme environments because it'll be smart enough to get itself out.


Here's a picture representing the second time I went speed dating and got funny stories and never wrote about it. This was the beginning of the brigade of ethnic men in my life.

What I learned attending 4 hours of classes this afternoon: "Ich heiße Laura."
Google Translate could've told me that in like 5 seconds. 
When my ritzy smartphone arrives, I'm quitting college.


Good news: I saw a dog today.


Better news: Along with making a dozen corsages this weekend, I will be reading the Book of Mormon in its entirety. Because I can. And because it'll put some things in perspective. And also because I'm insane.