Pop those peepers

Sometimes, when you are done with finals, you creep on people. From your room. It's for fun.

Facts about creeping:

• It is okay to hack your brother's Facebook account and check out all the guys wearing black name-tags. It is cool to find out where the girls are today who are pictured in their albums, and to look up where these men have lived and will live upon return. I might have mentioned this hobby before. That is okay. We'll make it through this together.

• Sometimes, you may notice eyes peering through your window from a nearby tree or neighboring window. Feel free to be on the giving end of this scenario occasionally. Don't worry, this is conducive to normal behavior.

• When Frederick (holla!) tells you that you live 8.7 miles from where you are sitting at the moment and he only knows that for running purposes, that is a cover-up. He's a creep. Just consider his name.

• When Frederick (double holla!) comments on your post even though you never gave him your blog address, that is also because he's a creep. (I know you're out there, buddy. You can't hide from me.)

• When internet stalking without the convenience of Facebook, look for links: newspaper articles to high schools, sports and music accomplishments to hometowns to graduation programs to pictures, etc.

• In order to stay savvy with law-enforcement officials and the people you stalk, it is usually wise to keep within the confines of the world wide web. But not always.

• The preferred method of contact when leaving your computer desk to take the next step in this give-and-take relationship (I give you anonymous and extreme attention, you give me Facebook pleasures and worried glances)? Pop out like unto kettle corn.